Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Supervivencia

Es en un mundo con competencia y con miedo de supervivencia que uno se apura, estresa, y tiene miedo por no obtener lo que busca. En un mundo en el que uno se acepta, sin miedo de consecuencias, uno simplemente es.

Friday, November 1, 2024

Guardo

Por eso guardo.
Para recordar. Dolores y placeres y pensamientos
Que aún guardan valor para el futuro.
Que aún guardan potencial de placer y dolor y recuerdos
Para luego poder
Entenderlos mejor.

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Motivation

The motivation behind my desires to create, to build, to learn these technical things, to revamp my technological abilities, is...
to prove that I am still smart. That I have not lost that which I once thought was such a treasured part of me. That I am still special and that can do wonderful/special things in the technological field.

I desire no such retrogressive motivation. Begone, itchy impulses. I am what I am.

Thursday, October 17, 2024

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Here

The World is Here
Both far and near
yet crystal clear
the World is Here.



Fear

Do naught from fear.
Do despite fear.

Be not from fear.
Be alongside fear.

Sunday, October 13, 2024

Finances

The topic of specific finances
prefers to be avoided during
personal conversations
because they can easily incite
ideas of petty manipulation
or provoke feelings of
interpersonal superiority/inferiority
in our fluid, yet untrained
emotional and mental bodies.

Dirección

"Señor, ayúdame a crecer en la dirección de mi alma".
...
"Uno crece hacia donde dirige su atención".

Saturday, October 5, 2024

Causes

For the triple man to coordinate his bodies with their originating causes, he needs:

His mind to be impulsed by Knowledge. To think when one Knows.
His emotions to be impulsed by Love. To emote when one Loves.
His dense body to be impulsed by Sacrifice. To act when one Serves.

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Anger

 Anger settles into certainty of purpose and strength, when accepted and understood.

Joy 2

 Joy flows easeful, spontaneous. It does not require happiness.

Monday, September 2, 2024

together

Neither I pursued her,
nor she seduced me.

We just allowed ourselves to see deeper
to follow the resonant essence within
and slid into each other's eyes.

Saturday, August 31, 2024

Thursday, August 29, 2024

power plays

so often the power plays
the invisible aggressions that occur between people
demeaningly, often unconsciously,
but with true unconscious intent, that of a parasite sucking each other's blood, life energy
their types are many.

one of them: poking/probing the other's emotions, feelings, with a surprise, meant to startle the other with a realization that one knows more about the other than the other knew one knew, or assumes/infers something about the other that one knows the other will find startling/disturbing. An "invasion" of knowledge or opinion, so to speak, with the intent of joke or surprise. But actually with an unconscious intent of imposing one's own "superiority", with that knowledge of the other one has attained, or distorted, without the other's consent. Such imposition can leech the other's stability and confidence, which the attacker unconsciously sucks in for him/her-self.

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

mujer

las curvas suaves y sinuosas de la mujer nos han acompañado desde ya milenios. Es una expresión antiquísima del femenino antiguo y primordial que reside dentro de la raza humana, y dentro de cada uno de nosotros.

la sensualidad humana, esculpida con mecánica, textura, y geometría.

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

message

Each of our words, each intonation thereof, is a message from the self we embody towards the world. May we send out our messages with conscious attention, and with refined grace.

sarcasm

Sarcasm is inherently biased. It relies on the assumption of some concept, and expresses a sharp contradiction towards this concept, whose intent is to be seen as absurd, thereby emphasizing the truth of the assumption. As it provides no additional information, it relies on assumptions and on the dynamics of social swaying in order to persuade or to gather attention.

Sunday, February 4, 2024

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Misinterpretación

Los hombres ven en las mujeres

Suavidad, y la confunden con debilidad.
Delicadeza, y la confunden con fragilidad.

Las mujeres ven en los hombres

Poder, y lo confunden con agresión.
Silencio, y lo confunden con rechazo.

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Cualidades

Estamos buscando cualidades
Afuera de nosotros
Pero en realidad
Están adentro de nosotros.

Saturday, January 13, 2024

Illusory Superlatives

A core appeal of superlatives
Is their tantalizing promise of finality
As a guarantee of certainty and determinism.

All of them illusions.

Friday, January 12, 2024

Discredited

Tis unfortunate that the truth is sometimes discredited
Because it is let out
Only gushing and thrashing through the force of anger
Because it was not being allowed out any other way.

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Escuchar

El Escuchar es la semilla inicial
Del enlace y la conexión
Con los cuales el Amor busca unir
Las conciencias separadas.

Wednesday, December 20, 2023

Belief of Incompleteness

the desires that pull me
travel through the channels created by
my belief that I lack something to be
complete.

Friday, December 15, 2023

Amor

No es el superfluo y efímero fatuo
Ni el apego sentimental
El amor nos transfluye y nos nutre
Como cristalino manantial.

Friday, December 1, 2023

Cognateness

Cognateness is omnipresent.

Resolución

Una resolución resuelve. Reúne las polaridades del soluto y del solvente, transforma las partes en homogénea disolución.

El ansia y lo ansiado,
La necesidad y lo necesario,
Se satisfacen, y callan.

Monday, November 27, 2023

Catalyst

Beauty is a catalyst
To produce the energy of care.
It emerges naturally
From cleanliness of being.

Monday, November 6, 2023

Forced

Forced correctness eventually bounces back
Or breaks.
True alignment blooms only from self.

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Problem

Any problem is the juxtaposition of multiple concepts, apparently incompatible with one another.
If one succumbs to this appearance, the fallacy of dichotomy, or polychotomy, is assumed, and conflict ensues.

When the realization that "and", instead of "against", is the true conjunction between the various,
The many are resolved into the one.

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

mutual care

Mutual care
Is hindered by mistrust,
By fear of exploitation or hook,
Is hindered by parsimony,
By fear of regret

Sunday, October 22, 2023

anxiety

Anxiety and confusion about what to do
Can so often override
The allous intricacy of what is happening.

Saturday, October 14, 2023

Repulsion

The muscle hold that prevents my belly from bloating outwards
And the discomfort which detracts my attention from the truth of other people
Are sustained by the same energy
Repulsion of what is.

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Floater

External validation is that one buoy/floater that most of us humans still hold onto/are unwilling to release.

As long as we hold onto it, we are unable to sink in and explore the depths.

Friday, July 28, 2023

closure

if the sphere finds no conscious closure
one can only create distance from it
via unconscious repulsion




Wednesday, June 14, 2023

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Sensuality

Sensuality need not have the intent of titillation.
The primal nature of our beings contains the raw, the intimate, and the tender and the wild
The supple, exquisite feminine
The imposing, penetrating masculine
Without need of connotation
of good or bad.



Monday, May 8, 2023

Riverbed

who we are
is not who we were
the person changes each moment
like the riverbed
changes its waters
now
and now
and now

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Control

 (Self-)Control requires attention. It requires knowing exactly WHAT I will to do, continuously, at each moment.

Thursday, May 4, 2023

Fluids

The fluids that clothe us
Are naught but our husk.

Gratitude 2

The essence of gratitude is not debt nor servility
But attention, appreciation, and acknowledgement of what is.

Monday, April 24, 2023

Love 2

Love is the seeing of self in the other
true and surrendered knowing
Mutual acknowledgment
That allows merging of the parts
Into the whole.

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Love

The nature of love is to bloom.

Love is effectively a solvent, which upon contact with barriers, fears, and pains, via attention, feeling, true understanding of causes, and acknowledgement of their truth and validity, responds with a sincere "I know", "It's ok", and shares in the feeling of discomfort while holding the positive knowing, the trust, simply of the worth of What Is. Thus any barrier can be recognized, felt, and melted away, and love can then flow freer.

Authority

An authority is that which authors,
determines,
decides
a choice.

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Meaning

We infuse matter with meaning.
Utilities are but tools for the infusion.

Some people search for meaning
In the objects they stumble upon
In the people they encounter

Yet let us remember
That meaning comes not from matter
It comes from Life.
From Our Self.

Whichever meaning we believe we are given by an object
Is perhaps recalled by that object
But it already resided
Within.

Friday, April 7, 2023

Weakness

And why do we hide fears?
Because they indicate weakness,
and may provide evidence for an other
to prey on us.

Tuesday, March 28, 2023

Monday, March 27, 2023

Stitute


  • Superstitute: To place atop, to cover.
  • Substitute: To place below, to substand.
  • Restitute: To place again.
  • Institute: To place within, to establish.
  • Prostitute: To place before the public, to sell.
  • Destitute: To un-place, to abandon.
  • Constitute: To place together, towards a whole.

Friday, March 17, 2023

Contribution

For some,

There is a tacit value and habitual pride
In being the first to present new or relevant information
To an ongoing discussion
Of a new idea, fact, puzzle piece
Of a novel contribution.

And a tacit devalue and habitual shame
In having one's original contribution
Rendered obsolete or invalid
By another contribution
Contrary to or superseding
One's own.

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Admit

The reluctance to admit the divine
and its relevance in our life
Keeps inspiration away from
The musical instrument we wield.

The fear to introduce it
Into our peer interactions
Keeps us from playing in the orchestra
We silently long for.

Toil

Thus we altogether toil
To link together the jigsaw puzzle
To weave the threads of consciousness
To carve the channels of light
Between us and through us
To reveal the essence of this

In the quest to unfold the truth
Of the Allness that we are.

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

How

The knowledge of the how
Need not attenuate
The wonder of the Is

Saturday, March 11, 2023

Train

We train to face the light
From which we spend much time
Postponing and evading

Inaccurate

Untrue superlatives
Unwarranted hyperboles
Inaccurate language
Weakens, dulls words

Like misuse of tools
Erodes and damages them.

Friday, March 10, 2023

Soup

Though the recognition of each of us as separate entities in the world is indispensable to growth and to relationship,
This separateness does not negate the One Soup of particles and flow whereof we are but subsets, wherein we are submerged, wherethrough we share, -hale, live, move, Are.

Energy vortices that gather form as vestment and tool to express the purpose and essence we are.

Possessiveness

Possessiveness dams the rivers
That seek to flow in abundance.

Thursday, March 9, 2023

Sunday, February 19, 2023

river now

In the depths of the consciousness
works and turns and shapes and projects the machinery
of energy upon energy through energy
that sprouts this river now.



Saturday, February 18, 2023

Water Wheels

The cyclic flowing dramedy.
Hurt and wearied children raising
helpless tender children.
Water wheels upon water wheels within water wheels.

Not one of us controls the flow
yet only we create, guide, and change it.



Monday, February 13, 2023

Unexpectancy

Let us be notifiers, messengers, and listeners
instead of money collectors.

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Half-moon

Half-moon
Mid-sky
Amidst clear morning blue
Fresh, crisp airs rinse my nostrils
Moon floats fast,
blazes oblivious
past nothing.

Saturday, February 11, 2023

Blame Mirrors

Blame flung back and forth and around
acts as light in a hall of distorted mirrors.

No surface allows the light to co-rrectly see it,
instead covering, distorting, exaggerating, diminishing, or diverting
the light that touches it,
which prevents truth from being seen
as it is.

Both without and within
the skin.


Reluctance

Coerced persuasion and enticing lures
are perceived and abhorred
by an able mind.

Unnegation

No thing is complete, therefore true,
without its complement, the rest of the universe,
both of which have birthed, and continue to birth,
each other.



Sunday, February 5, 2023

Rush

Rush is not speed of action.
It is the pull forward of urgent anxiety
which slips consciousness off its traction
onto distraction
and submerges the chooser
in unconscious currents, vortices, and maelstroms
that cause him to flail in desperation
with unintended reactions.



offense

No force in the universe
can offend [s]he
who knows h(im/er)self.

Likewise, each offense
provides a chance
to know oneself further.

moment

A myriad tiny steps of change
each unstoppable moment
persisted by continuous inertia
guided by refining choice

Thursday, February 2, 2023

Barriers

We ourselves have wrought
the invisible barriers around us
out of mistrust, neglect, and competition
that stifle the cries between us
of our longing for connection and meaning.

Superstitution

Thank yous and sorrys
Spit out in rushed reaction
Carry little to none
Of their original meaning.
Superstituted husks.

Monday, January 16, 2023

Fulcrum

Every minute impulse of the will
synchronised with the change of matter
a living miracle,

each exquisitely truthful perception
a sublime delight.

Thus we observe and pivot
from the fulcrum of consciousness.

Cohered

Dust cohered together
That we ride.

Monday, January 9, 2023

Saturday, January 7, 2023

Self-chastisement

If the energy of blame is allowed
to chastise itself,
it merely gives fuel to the very flame
that it meant to suppress.

Merely see it,
feel it seen.

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Victimhood

When victim seeks and achieves retribution,
if the hurts and misdeeds are repudiated, are not accepted nor understood,
he relishes in victory and seizes power,
and takes on the role of victimizer
upon the unchanged polarized dynamic.

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Fusion

Skepticism prevents unity
between the observer and the observed.

Credulity smooshes one onto the other
before discernment understands
and conscious choice shapes a proper relation
in the oneness of the whole.

Monday, December 26, 2022

Present

The desire to present oneself as good
need not spill into the desire
to present oneself as better.

Friday, December 9, 2022

Speed

slow action is suggested
to those who seek to know themselves
not because speed is evil or undesirable
but because the impetuous mind
forgoes attention when it acts fast

Monday, October 24, 2022

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Track and measure

 
Though it is individual achievement which often drives our efforts,
in topics of consciousness, it is mostly misguided to track and measure
success or failure through visible or outward manifestations.

Threat


When my love is received as a threat, I feel hurt.
When I learn to suppress my love after many misperceptions,
I gather resentment towards those who reject my love.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Monday, September 19, 2022

Sunday, September 18, 2022

Strangers' eyes

Strangers' eyes
They find each others like magnets
Once they touch
They slide off one another
Like spheres unable to sit
Stably one atop another

Thursday, September 15, 2022

demand

World, I've done the stupid things you asked of me,
Now give me my fucking satisfaction.

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Detached

The objects of both

hatred and admiration

are detached from comprehension.

Sunday, September 4, 2022

Between

When neither side satisfies,
Seek between
or beyond.

When haste or rigidity do not listen,
Seek what they hide.

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Hope

life is
a crawling calvary when hope wanes
a shining adventure when hope rises.
We would do well then, to pour effort
into cultivating hope.

Sunday, August 7, 2022

humility and strength

humility
is the complete acceptance of what one is, thereby lacking any need to be regarded in any particular manner.

strength
is the capacity of a being to mould and conserve itself and his environment according to its own will.

Friday, July 8, 2022

Friday, June 17, 2022

Garden

I am in my garden
amidst my pleasures and pains
atop my sensations
neglecting my spots of fear
sniffing breezy thoughts.

Sunday, May 29, 2022

shameless

I think the repulsion to the common connotation of the word shameless
is not towards the absence of shame
but towards a knowing, willing incorrectness.

Friday, May 27, 2022

Thursday, May 26, 2022

success

images of success
include
he who controls
via money, influence, attraction, or force.
he who satisfies his desires,
who achieves, completes, reaches.
he who enjoys
the juice of the moment, pure.

all these assume success
exists

unwillingness

I feel the unwillingness to let go of
the image I imagine others have of me
as someone who
does not make mistakes.

flashes

Like the brief flashes of blue
I sometimes catch with my fleeting eye
from my sunlit crystal prism
feel those clear flashes of insight
that I sheerly know are true.

devotion

The target of devotion
can himself become devoted
to his devotee's devotion,
and be unwilling to let go.

He may then veil his true image
from the devotee
to preserve the allure
to prevent him from
consuming his satisfaction
and falling out of devotion
of that sweet, dear devotion.

Thus attached to devotion
he creates a feedback cycle
that locks the flow of satisfaction
and holds it fast
until one side ventures
to peer deeper.

Sunday, May 22, 2022

categories

We traverse the categories

child, adult
teacher, student
man, woman
friend, enemy
server, serviced
victor, victim
hurter, hurt
seeker, target
healthy, ill
aged, young
wise, foolish
able, unable
strong, frail
potent, weak
joyful, miserable
selfish, generous
lauded, outcast
arrogant, humble
social, lonely
hopeful, discouraged
devious, forthright
proud, ashamed
wealthy, poor
comfortable, desperate
active, passive
causer, effected
violent, peaceful
success, failure
fear, courage
pleasure, pain

through life
in order to be them all
as the one witness
in one continuous fabric
woven together by time and memory.
thus can we experience firsthand
how it all is the one
same
sheet

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Friday, April 29, 2022

decay

Decay manifests when we reap the fruits and flowers, and neglect the roots and stems.

Satisfactions

Anger is satisfied by destruction.
Envy is expressed via rejection, satisfied by destruction.
Pride is not satisfied. It is mollified by the assertion of the token of pride.
Resentment is not satisfied. It is mollified by the assertion of its misery.

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Requesting

The option of requesting a thing - material, action, or engagement - is often hindered, dampened by the failure of rejection. Also by the fear of exuding an appearance of insufficiency/lack of independence/unworthiness. An exactly these fears are the wardens that keep the common citizen in the habitual prisons of loneliness. When the value of appearance is made to supersede the value of truth.

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

thorough

Thorough mental integration
requires that no information or signal
remain unprocessed or uncovered.

Thorough emotional integration
dismisses no emotion
that asks to be felt.

validity

Consider the validity of
those wordless, subtle, ineffable signals
within.

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Believe

I understand most people understand that "to believe" means
that one is certain that something is true,
even if one has not observed it directly.
A Faith that something is true,
a Must that something is true,
despite any evidence or arguments to the contrary,
often in conflict with arguments to the contrary.

I define it in a different way.
Be-Lieve, or Be-Live. To Live Beside,
To Live By.

Something to live by. Something that accompanies one in life.
Not a logical restriction that negates the complement.
Not a rejection of all claims to something else.
Not a dictum that pre-filters the paths I may choose.

But rather a companion in life.
An idea I trust to be helpful,
a principle that I trust guides my Life.
A reminder of the purpose I have chosen,
for the times I get lost in the daily maze,
for when pain and fear leave me grasping in the dark.

Not a banner I wave around me
to give me and display my colors
and tell me with whom to stand,
or how to live and to be.
But words written by my own hand,
with crisp ink on a treasured sheet of paper
I keep close to my heart.

Good

I align the idea of good
as conscious choice
towards balance and growth.

Sunday, April 10, 2022

other

other (v): To other. To define something as separate and different from oneself, particularly by attributing the difference to a certain factor.

Saturday, April 9, 2022

Loyalty

loyalty, what is it motivated by?
  • regularity
  • fulfilled expectation
  • reliability
  • no need to learn something new
  • consolidated, known behaviour
  • no risk
  • further building upon what is assured and known
  • preference of the known to the unknown.
Learning requires energy, effort.
A lethargic being prefers to postpone effort.

Friday, April 8, 2022

mirror

May we all look inside
know our desires and fears,
our pains and joys,
then turn our light outward
and see in all others those same.

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Water

A spinning wheel made of water
spinning threads of water
into tapestries of water

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

pride 2

pride hinders flow
as its nature is to retain
its object in place
reliable, a steady reference

Saturday, February 19, 2022

underestimated

Just noticed
Feeling underestimated
Incenses frustration in me
Can spark anger

Friday, February 18, 2022

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Competition 2

The near objective of a competition is, naturally, to win.

The deeper value of a competition, however, lies in the kindling of the participants' interest, in the summoning and rallying of their strengths and abilities in order to strive, innovate, and persevere, and in the promotion of activity, growth, and learning in an otherwise lulled, inactive environment.

Monday, January 31, 2022

Friday, December 3, 2021

Recognition

For the makers of beautiful things would not create them as they do if they did not recognize that quality of beauty within themselves.

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Materialism

The whole of materialism does not necessitate consciousness. Yet conscious we are. Materialism is hence incomplete.

Tuesday, November 9, 2021

Camino

No es tanto el camino que tomamos,

o lo que en él encontramos.

Es la pureza con que caminamos.

Monday, October 25, 2021

Monday, September 27, 2021

peak and trough

Be it peak or trough, either brings onto the other. Whether on the lake's surface, upon the guitar string, or on the waters of our own emotions, vibration permeates them all.

greed

When a system is in peace and in balance, whose members understand this balance, he who pulls the strings knowingly, solely for individual benefit, expresses greed.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Sunday, August 29, 2021

servants

We are servants of Life
In Its quest to explore
What it can be
What It Is

Friday, August 27, 2021

Leadership

Leadership is the compilation, organization, and unification of the intents and alignments of the individuals in a group into a coherent, aligned whole.

Thursday, August 12, 2021

Why 2

"Why" reaches into the roots of a form, seeking to unite it with what is known.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

Sunday, August 8, 2021

Complete

 Leave no choice undone.

correctness

In myself, I find that what I once saw in myself as a desire, a draw towards correctness, was actually a fear of feeling wrong.

Monday, July 19, 2021

Friday, July 16, 2021

show

What does the world have to show me today?

Self-ascertainment

I sometimes find myself ascertaining that what I am doing makes sense/is justifiable/can be clearly conveyed in the future.

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

urges

 Some Urges I feel in myself:

  • An urge to be recognized as the person who came up with a worthy idea, a concept, or an initiative first, or by myself, with little aid from others.
  • An urge to not be recognized as wrong or incorrect, even by myself.

Dance

Dance practices smooth, continuous communication between soul, mind, and body.

Tuesday, July 6, 2021

drops

light like water

waves in streams

sparse water coheres into drops

sparse light coheres into photons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDtAh9IwG-I

Monday, May 17, 2021

fear of power

Today I controlled another person's choice completely. Realizing I had complete authority over a person other than myself caused fear in me, and sobs of raw emotion while feeling disbelief that I was capable, worthy, of directing another person totally. 

Friday, May 14, 2021

ip

Google channels desire for knowledge.
Amazon channels desire for matters.
Facebook channels desire for human connection.
As swift flow of IP packages.

Saturday, May 8, 2021

spirit

Chakra venting

The unexpressed flaming desires of the solar plexus can be vented in the loving space of the heart. To allow that, the heart space expands, and the flame can dissipate into the love space. It need not always be expressed via the throat.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

suddenly

 Then suddenly I noticed, that the part of my mind that was afraid was no longer ringing - it was singing.











- Sometime in 2018 or 2019

Saturday, January 9, 2021

stovetop

When the light shines

and we see the forgotten and the unclean

that remains

we have an opportunity to clean


on a stovetop

or inside of us

Friday, December 4, 2020

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Fun

 Fun is an activation and challenge of our capacities while we feel safe.

Thursday, November 5, 2020

abstinence

Abstinence without ground of feeling is a self pushback without knowing. Its efforts are swept away into the winds of oblivion, and they do not connect back to the core of our being.

Sunday, October 18, 2020

maximize

A pitfall of living via maximization strategies is that the maximum point is often an infinitesimal set in the landscape of possibilities. The intenser we seek a maximum, the tauter, limitider, fewer our paths become. And together with this sharpness of achievement, comes intrinsic a bondage to a "must" in the field of what is.

Friday, May 29, 2020

tongue

We are a tongue
The world is food

experience

The experience of the mind is the understanding
The experience of the emotions is the feeling
The experience of the body is the sensing

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Friday, April 24, 2020

why

the value of "why"
more than finding a cause
helps us pay attention

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Sunday, April 19, 2020

melt upon the turning wheel

Melt upon the turning wheel

Melt into its pores
And feel yourself both sides at once
And no longer crave
One side above the other

Thursday, April 9, 2020

tears

all tears we hide
remain in a reservoir
and bloat it to any pressure
there they remain
stuck
as long as they are not seen

Saturday, March 28, 2020

erupt

three or four orgasms yesterday
brought the skin on my hands to erupt
and feel like tiny mountains
itchy texture, rashy

Saturday, March 7, 2020

pistachio

it's like time that we let our own layers shed away. like grime off as rain comes. like old leaves off with wind. I continue to react, to adapt, to survive. Even with conversation, with favors, with manners. They remain a clamped-down clam much of the time. A stubborn pistachio shell split on one side, and at times a bit more open than at others, but it remains shut, unwilling to split the fuck open and speak and live through raw desire. barely no ever yes perhaps why not

Sunday, January 26, 2020

Hoard

A tragedy in economy happens when those who are given energy in the form of money because they are valued, trusted to do well with this energy, find naught more to do with it than to hoard it.

Written: 25-01 05:03

Rationality

Pure rationality excludes creativity.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

kitchen

It's like we came into the kitchen and we forgot what we came here to do.

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

nuggets

nuggets
that make me feel alive
that awaken a spark of joy
of flow inside
those are what keep me
moving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsN7E35LpJE

Friday, December 20, 2019

care

maybe
when we forget to care for our selves
and other selves that help us
re member to care
appear
pull care from us
like magnet
remind us of our heart and care
that we can give it from us
that we can give it to us
too

Saturday, November 30, 2019

broken toy

huh, when the confession comes
exactly... it is a *confession*.

"There's this thing I've been hiding
and when I tell you maybe you'll think that
I'm a broken toy and
you won't like me anymore and maybe you'll leave
and I don't want you to go, so I'm scared"

assumptions and assumptions
a deep groove of reactive behavior
notice
and feel

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

poles

men often invade
women often evade
may awareness soften, dissolve both

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Invasion

Afraid that my every touch is interpreted as an invasion.

Direction

The direction of fulfillment

New guy

Hey new guy,
I didn't know you were in me as well. Well, you've been there for some time now. What's recent is that I see you and recognize you.
You're the fear that others don't really want to be with you. Every moment with someone, every look, every offer, every joke, every silence... you're looking out for hints that the other one doesn't want to be there anymore, that they're bored, that they caught scent of your body and want to get away from it, that they want to get out of there, and don't know how, can't bring themselves to say it. That I'm, naive and unaware, holding them an awkward prisoner of social protocol.
You've been with me for a while, I just hadn't stated you as you are. Recognized you.
Hello.
And I see how at times the coin is flipped. At times I don't want to spend anymore time with someone, and it is difficult for me to state it, to express that another's company has grown sour or boring on me.
Maybe if I know how to say that clearly in those moments, you, Mr. Fear, can realize this feeling, this desire to pull away, is not something to be ashamed or, to hide, or to avoid. Maybe then you can find another hobby, and I can relax and engage with what's actually happening in the engagement between them and moi.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Saturday, August 31, 2019

Torture

It is known by the seers of the void that they will stop at nothing to move together through the fight. Though the chances spit on their hope, they do not hinder the being of Truth. Appeasing mind with a word stream does nothing for the trapped emotions, which sizzle invisibly and pull the strings within, starkening the yearning void inside. Fix me or kill me, he feels. The middle ground is torture.

Friday, July 12, 2019

Steward

Women steward sex.
Men steward... power? Willpower? Direction?

Turns

There are no turns in dance. It's real-time.

Craving

Craving engenders itself.
Obtained, another one takes its place.
Fulfilled, it is replaced by fear of losing it.

Blade

Not a blade of grass grows or waves for me. Purpose is a concept immaterial.

Monday, June 10, 2019

None

Musts are untrue
No hardness is absolute
What may seem unavoidable
Are only grooves, trenches
Where gravity seduces our flow to caress

Yet choice can climb any slope
Guide any flow
With focus, a wide flow condenses
Into any direction and form

No canyon is unscalable
All space can be traversed
Such is this weave of nothing
That we play

Musts

Musts may feel comfortable to some.
They demarcate clear paths,
Defer authority to another
Automate choice and will

The pangs of failure are dulled by the sheltered victim
The pleasures along the way, often known and enjoyed
Musts bound the experience space
Oh, can these borders congeal

Feels simple to stay by the swimming pool edges
The rest may feel wild and unknown
Yet the self yearns an ergodic journey
Not until one lets go
Can one experience the ocean

Friday, June 7, 2019

foreign care

I want you to see me
and
I want you to not know that I care that you see me

eyes close

Saturday, June 1, 2019

Chain

Being comes into awareness
Awareness sprouts attention
Attention weaves attraction
Attraction fuels desire
Desire becomes want
Want is spoken as need
Need engenders should
Should congeals into must
Must constrain our paths
Constraints chain us
To what is not

Remember

Remember
My center

Sunday, May 26, 2019

Learned

Listen
Unhide
Straighten your velcro hooks, pull them towards you. It prevents lint from getting stuck on them.
Bring in your energy strands, cover yourself with them with a smooth surface like glass. It prevents your energy from getting stuck on others' hooks.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

oh look

oh look
an expectation

star and moon

star and moon
we help each other
through ages, we forgot that here we are
on a plane
and we can reach out and help. feels good

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Infinity

A dancer in infinity makes no difference. Dance makes walls and floors to flow and fly freely within.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

yearns

yearns:
- pride wants to show off. to prove to them, to show them I'm right.
- wants to be admired. to be seen, to be the center of attention, the source of awe.
- wants to defend myself vigorously against injustice. With strength and with right. It feels it deserves redemption.
- wants to feel care, attention from others.
- wants a female partner in play. A mutual attention, mutual care.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

sunny

sunny sadness
survives
softly, silently
suffocates
simplicity
sees such sorrow
subtly shrouded
savage soul
unwanted

Friday, March 15, 2019

if

oh what if we dropped these masks
what if we let
what if we felt
what truly there is
here is
HERE is
and let the rain
wash the rest away
the dust we still care for
the layers we thought ours
we thought us
but are as transient
as this thought

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Sweet

Such a sweet tear
shed by my Heart
The sweetest, softest message
of surrendered Love

A child made honey
as fresh, as pure
as small, as light
such is my Heart's tear

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Dotted

Spring comes dotted of yellow, pink, red, white, fed by streaks of green.

Friday, March 8, 2019

En canta

Me encanta
Cantar

Direct

Direct breath groundwards,
Energy moves through the dense.
Direct breath skywards,
Energy moves through the light.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Meet

We meet. Energy, excitement upon meeting.
We diverge. Longing, energy dispersal upon divergence.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Expand

May our intention expand to fill our space.

Other things do, otherwise, like distractions.

Breath pulses thus.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Multi

Fluctuate across dimensions. Intensity, span, speed. Energy, space, time. Each with its amplitude, frequency, flair.

Fullness

Seeking fullness in a field of maybes can be tiring.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Naked

Naked trees, sleeping trees, quiver softly under a grey blue sky. Ten thousand wooden fingers, painting in empty space. Ten thousand strands of lightning, from root to cold twig.

Friday, December 28, 2018

preservation

preservation of a form
is sometimes stretched
past its graceful end date

the form is sand
essence continues

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Unrequition

Explicit unrequition can feel heavy on the soul,
yet it flows, unlike unexpressed intention.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Grateful

I feel grateful to the sun and the Earth. They give their energy to me.
I feel grateful to my teachers, from whom I've learned the art of discernment. The joy of perception.
I feel grateful to my body, my being. Through it I feel my world, my experience, my center.

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Am

I am what is happening

Delights

Wave of being
Delights in
exploring new pathways
above below and beyond
finds secret tunnels within its form
In fluid allowance, it feels joy by the friction
Of the self with itself
Of erosion of walls, edges, thorns
Of the smoothing of the self
Cleansing of our arena
From unkempt brush to dance floor
Where we surf, flow, squeeze, fly

Being love and joy
Feeling ourselves full
Free

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Hidra

Un triángulo naranja
Una ola de agua
Una columna de aire respirante
Una llama
Un vórtice de vacío
Un cuarzo irregular
Un rayo de luz

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Emptying

Upon emptying, feed on wholesome newness, made holy by an intention aware and true.
Otherwise, it feeds unawarely with the shape of our recent patterns, left as echo from our hollow shape.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Energy surfers

Energy surfers
May we find stillness in the surfing
May we surf in balance with us

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Align

In the nick of time
This path proceeds to align
As it does
Every
Now
And
Now

Saturday, October 20, 2018

The flavor of care

Light comes to where there is care. The flavor of care changes with its color.

Friday, October 19, 2018

balloon

inhale inflates the balloon. bonds tense and are highlighted, sensation rises within we become aware of what they are. where they are. they poke and pull.
exhale brings deflation. relaxes bonds, soothes tense skin. reminds us we are still here

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Rage

A formless blob of rage, held in check by a proficient controller, keenly aware of societal boundaries. Pulled back again and again from its dream explosion, it lies waiting in its bloated chamber, brimming to the top, sphincters tight shut so often they are dry, rigid, unsure if they remember how to release. They only acquiesce to trickling sadness, enough to relieve pressure. Just enough. Inside the chamber, the old liquid continues to stagnate and rot.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Silent

Silent words block my throat.
Materialized in obscurity, they are deferred the responsibility of expression
From the body
To these
words

Hide

I tire of it because I hide it.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Tired

Tired of these roles.
Tired of her defensiveness
Evasions
Coyness
Expectation of action
Retreat
Fear of advances
Fear of ulteriors
Tired of my hunting
Seeking
Impressing
Gambling
Offering
Hoping
Expectation of reception
Attacks
Fear of producing fear
Fear of rejection
Fear of opening up and noticing she does not want to
Tired of these
Roles

Together

Moon and lightning

Voluble

Voluble direction

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

wisp

at times I strive to build like a tree does
at times to float like a wisp

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Monday, July 9, 2018

Active

The active mode changes the State of the world from one to another.
The contemplative mode observes. Feels.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

chosen

The chosen is the true

chaos

So I prefer from chaos to order rather than from border to border.
There is only here. There is only now.
From dream

only

The only time you can get something is when you want it.
Dream

Monday, April 30, 2018

Still

I saw a rainbow spectrum on a wall, and I liked it. I wanted to see it, and to find where it was coming from. As I was approaching it, it disappeared, and I was unable to find it anymore.

Then I realized that the colors were still there. Whether I saw them or not, the vibrant colors are still in the light of everything I see. I felt joy within and continued.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Friday, March 23, 2018

coins

oh how we seek
continuity
grace
elegance
purpose
reason
validation
recognition
success

seeking to flip endless coins and only get heads.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Water

Water brings smooth
Smooth uniforms texture
Through smooth light shows clear
water allows

Friday, November 17, 2017

Monday, July 3, 2017

Cheeky

The moon glances at me tonight, with a cheeky shine.
"You're still here", she says.
Thank you, moon :)

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Collapse

Like sometimes, when libido strikes
The world collapses into a line
Between the extremes of getting laid or not

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Social Friction

At my Adobe internship, my desk is located on the Southeast corner of the third floor, as shown on this floor sketch:

*(which was never drawn)*.

During the day, I take occasional journeys to the...

*(5 years later)*...

snack bar, where I get coffee, water, and snacks. On my way back, I've found two competing alternative paths. One is composed of four straight segments connected by straight angles, simple and shorter. The other one traverses ~ten smaller such segments, and makes its way through a simple maze of cubicles that one feels is not the shorter path 

Yet I tend to prefer the second path. Why? Because the first one, on its last segment, walks right past 10 other interns in the same research area as me, and we tend to exchange awkward and forces smiles that I feel I'm pushing through as I walk there. I feel it takes more energy for me to walk that path than to walk a slightly longer distance and turn on my path left and right in an arbitrary sequence.

This leads me to state that there is such a thing as Social Friction. A force that resists movement along a path by repelling behavior (to the mover/observer) exhibited by societal members placed close to this path.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Ashtanga Yoga Sequence

1. Stand, inhale & rise hands, exhale & hands down to chest.
2. 5 consecutive vinyasa sequences, each ending in standing hands to chest.
3. 5 consecutive vinyasa sequences, each ending in chair pose.
4. vinyasa sequence, ending in left/right leg to the front, warrior 1 pose.
5a. stand feet touching, lower, grab toes. go downwards, bend elbows.
5b. stand feet touching, lower, grab bottom of feet. go downwards, bend elbows.
6a. Triangle. right leg to the side, front foot forwards, back foot mostly forward. Extend arms, lower towards front, reaching out and down.
6b. Turn and repeat with other side.
7a. Twisted triangle. Right leg front, same position. Extend arms, front arm to the back, other arm up, then lower body along with arm, inside/outside legs. Other arm extends up, and twist the body in that direction.
7b. Turn and repeat with other side.
8a. Feet as in warrior 2. Front elbow rests on front knee, back arm extends, makes straight line together with back leg. Option to lower front arm to the ground.
8b. Turn and repeat with other side.
9a. Open legs wide, heels wider than toes. Hands to hips, legs straight, lower to hips. Hands to ground, lower head to ground.
9b. Rise to hips, hands on core, lower head again.
9c. Rise to hips, hands clasped behind back, lower head again.
10a. Reverse namaste (namaste behind the back). Position like twisted triangle, and lower head to knee/floor?.
10b. Turn and repeat with other side.
11a. Parahanmistasana. Stand hip width apart. Hold knee to chest, OR grab toe with same side arm and extend OR bow head to extended leg. Other hand holds the core. Hold.
11b. Rotate raised knee/extended leg to the side. Other hand remains holding the core. Hold.
11c. Leg back to front, release knee/toe. Stand up straight, hands to core, outstretch leg and foot high. Hold.
12. Sit with legs straight, back straight, hands on floor, head down to chest. Hold.
13a. One foot to the other thigh. Grab other foot’s toe with both hands, head down to chest. Hold. Then same, grabbing back of foot instead of toes.
13b. Same, but sitting on ankle instead of foot on thigh. Then a&b other side.
14a. Bend knee, foot on ground, align outer foot with outer hip. Extend same-side arm to left of knee, wrap around and to the back. Other arm stretches back to meet it, and they bind. Back straight, then head down towards the floor.
14b. Repeat with other side.
15a. Bend knee, align outer foot with outer hip. Option 1: Opposite arm wraps in front of knee to the back of the body, other arm is placed to the back of the body, helping to twist rotation towards the back. Body twists. Hold. Option 2: Opposite arm wraps between knee and chest, then to the other side to the back. Other arm stretches to the back on its side to meet it, and bind. Hold.
15b. Repeat with other side.
16. Navasana, boat pose. 3 times. Lay down. Then raise chest straight, raise legs straight, feet outstretched, arms outstretched towards feet. Hold five breaths. In between each pose, place hands to the front, place one shin over another, and lift body.
17a. Fish pose. Legs stretched or in lotus. Lay head back onto floor, back arched upwards, engage core, keep legs down. Hands clasped together under back. Hold.
17b. Stretch legs up and outward, feet outstretched, stretch arms out in the same direction. Hold.
18. Butterfly sit. Sit in butterfly pose, feet touching and closest to body, knees towards ground. Hands on feet, pushing insides of feet downwards so that only outsides of feet are touching. Head also pushes downwards. Hold.
19. Crow.
20. Back bends (3-5). Option 1: Bridge, feet on ground, shoulders and elbows on ground, top of head on ground. Rest of the body is arched upwards. Hands clasped underneath. Hold. Option 2: Full wheel: Instead of shoulders and head on floor, hands on floor, and the rest of the body arches upwards. Hold.
21. Shoulder stand.
22. Plow.
23. Wheel.
24. Headstand.
25. Lay.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Thresholds

so ("so cute")
too ("too high")
enough ("enough sleep")
need ("need food")

A target threshold - a quantity or state - is required for expressions with either of these words to be well-defined.

Do

Dance Life

Sand

Cosmic sand

Monday, March 13, 2017

Path

Path is determined stream of moments, events, steps, co-occurrent instances of something. And they serve to reach a place, a goal, a state, quickly and reliably. State-arrivers.

Paths are learned during growth, societal adoption. Communication, clothing, skills, usage of body.

Societal paths are sparse. Space of possibility is ample. To savor it, explore.

Awareness

Awareness begets Intention.
Intention is Life.
Experience is Learning.
Intent experience is guided Learning.
Justifications made out of smoke.
Every act is a choice.
Conditioning is congealed choice.
Intercongealed concepts may obstruct Flow.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Music Malleates

Piano music feels like water, waving, streaming, and soothing. When soft, it touches and envelops the sensations and the soul. When strong, it shows itself as a wave washing it with a smooth force. A staccato feels like little bursts rising from the surface. A legato feels like ripples upon the surface dancing to their own spirit. In general, piano music slides on the skin and leaves fading traces of resonance where it has touched. It caresses and envelops, it rides the listener in waves.

Violin music feels like a wooden dagger. A single note can already stab the emotions deep. It does not harm; it penetrates. It opens new channels among the unexplored, letting air and sunshine breathe into them. It pierces crusts into the sensitive emotions long ignored and/or forgotten, and helps one feel what is there. Like a toothpick piercing play dough, it finds the colors hidden inside and allows them to be felt by the light surface again. It helps us remember we can reshape ourselves, our intentions, by feeling our emotions in different shapes and patterns.

Soothing surface.
Digging deep.

Feel.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Share

Many moments I feel there's no one around to share with, and I feel lonely. I forget how rich my world is. This night, I will share with you: Moon. Air. Trees. Breath.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Viagra

Lsd. Like Viagra, for consciousness.
And like Teflon! Unsticking agent, detaches the cat from being that got stuck onto the windshield.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Wane

Why weep when we wane?
Waves wash wilts well, while will whispers wishes within world.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Be

We gotta be. There's no way around it. Buy while we're at it, we might as well give it our All.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Legacies

Ambiguity and lackluster purposes are time-tested legacies that people continue to perpetuate.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Estoy

En este mundo, entre bombas gigantescas, destrucción errática, buses citadinos regulares, restricciones veneradas, perspectivas inigualables, margaritas delicadas, esporas felices, ocio inexhaustible, economías fluctuantes, matemáticas inmutables, confusiones frívolas, sentimientos bioquímicos, magias intangibles, fervores colectivos, altruismos artificiales, glorias nocivas, pulsaciones ultradimensionales, vastedades desconocidas, sutilezas inefables, temores secretos, gobiernos pendulares, tiempo inexorable, propósitos efímeros, esencias de jojoba, sinfonías simultáneas, silencios apurados, gigantes esferas gráciles, bellezas desintentadas, orificios geográficos, naturalezas regulares, balances invisibles, crecimientos exponenciales, homomorfismos infinitos, paradojas verdaderas, decisiones continuas, restricciones auto-impuestas, estereotipos acertados, suposiciones obsoletas, lógica persistente, logística inevitable, esfuerzos absolutos, menguas constantes, búsquedas ortogonales, éxitos inconsecuentes, legados culturales, lenguajes convergentes, colores incrustados, proporciones auditivas, topologías neurales, jerarquías aceptadas, helicópteros diminutos, chocolates cremosos, ideas olvidadas, cariños inequívocos, abundancia desechada, necesidades ilusorias, amor mítico, conciencia absoluta, gases libres, aire fresco,
Estoy.