Music Malleates

Piano music feels like water, waving, streaming, and soothing. When soft, it touches and envelops the sensations and the soul. When strong, it shows itself as a wave washing it with a smooth force. A staccato feels like little bursts rising from the surface. A legato feels like ripples upon the surface dancing to their own spirit. In general, piano music slides on the skin and leaves fading traces of resonance where it has touched. It caresses and envelops, it rides the listener in waves.

Violin music feels like a wooden dagger. A single note can already stab the emotions deep. It does not harm; it penetrates. It opens new channels among the unexplored, letting air and sunshine breathe into them. It pierces crusts into the sensitive emotions long ignored and/or forgotten, and helps one feel what is there. Like a toothpick piercing play dough, it finds the colors hidden inside and allows them to be felt by the light surface again. It helps us remember we can reshape ourselves, our intentions, by feeling our emotions in different shapes and patterns.

Soothing surface.
Digging deep.

Feel.

Share

Many moments I feel there's no one around to share with, and I feel lonely. I forget how rich my world is. This night, I will share with you: Moon. Air. Trees. Breath.

Viagra

Lsd. Like Viagra, for consciousness.
And like Teflon! Unsticking agent, detaches the cat from being that got stuck onto the windshield.

Discomfort

Lovely discomfort.

Person

I see you as a person, no longer as an object of desire.

Intentfulness

Intentfulness confused with solemnity.

Lilt

Lilt of the Forest.
Lilt of Life.

Wane

Why weep when we wane?
Waves wash wilts well, while will whispers wishes within world.

Vermont

I'm in Vermont!

Be

We gotta be. There's no way around it. Buy while we're at it, we might as well give it our All.

Cacofonía

Qué cacofonía.

Legacies

Ambiguity and lackluster purposes are time-tested legacies that people continue to perpetuate.

Time

Do you like Time?

Estoy

En este mundo, entre bombas gigantescas, destrucción errática, buses citadinos regulares, restricciones veneradas, perspectivas inigualables, margaritas delicadas, esporas felices, ocio inexhaustible, economías fluctuantes, matemáticas inmutables, confusiones frívolas, sentimientos bioquímicos, magias intangibles, fervores colectivos, altruismos artificiales, glorias nocivas, pulsaciones ultradimensionales, vastedades desconocidas, sutilezas inefables, temores secretos, gobiernos pendulares, tiempo inexorable, propósitos efímeros, esencias de jojoba, sinfonías simultáneas, silencios apurados, gigantes esferas gráciles, bellezas desintentadas, orificios geográficos, naturalezas regulares, balances invisibles, crecimientos exponenciales, homomorfismos infinitos, paradojas verdaderas, decisiones continuas, restricciones auto-impuestas, estereotipos acertados, suposiciones obsoletas, lógica persistente, logística inevitable, esfuerzos absolutos, menguas constantes, búsquedas ortogonales, éxitos inconsecuentes, legados culturales, lenguajes convergentes, colores incrustados, proporciones auditivas, topologías neurales, jerarquías aceptadas, helicópteros diminutos, chocolates cremosos, ideas olvidadas, cariños inequívocos, abundancia desechada, necesidades ilusorias, amor mítico, conciencia absoluta, gases libres, aire fresco,
Estoy.

He

Yo he.

Sequestered

Emotionally sequestered.

Hold

Only a mind can hold an idea.

Mata

El tiempo muerto mata.

Citas del Gita

"No hacer lo correcto cuando se lo requiere es peor que hacer lo incorrecto. "

"El deseo de recoger los frutos de las propias acciones genera preocupación por el fracaso, y esto da por resultado la mente vacilante de la que antes te hablé. Preocupado por los frutos de tus obras, te evadirás del presente hacia un futuro imaginario y por lo general temible. Entonces tu ansiedad te privará de energía y, para agravar aún más las cosas, caerás en la inacción y la pereza."

"¡Ningún objetivo se logra, ohhh guerrero, en el futuro!"

Empirical Identity

Google is as Google does.

Damp

My body feels damp with self-control.

Dismissed

The ununderstood dismissed as chaos.

Saeta

La saeta veloz sólo ve en una dirección.

Retarded

Emotionally retarded.

One day I realized it.

Been trying to catch up since.

Signposts

Words are not of the essence.
When they try to capture essence,
they fail.
All essence is ephemeral,
and words describe states,
in which no essence can reside.

But they can make good signposts.

Child

Perennially lost child.

Insomniac

To the anxious, thirsty heart,
sleep is a needless distraction.
Insomniac, it languishes in desperate inaction,
gasps alone for connection,
and sorely misses its powerful will to act.

Congealed

Congealed loneliness is easily ignored.

But when it is noticed, it sticks around the heart like amber on an insect.

Tipos

Hay más tipos de tipos que posibles tipos que tipeados.

Chaloir

Je te chalois.

Chalance

I seek chalance.

Estanque

Un estanque en paz no satisface al pez anhelante.

Pestañazos

Quiero dormirme entre pestañazos de nuestras conversaciones, ojo a ojo, boca a boca.

p^~p

¿Cómo puede faltarme y sobrarme al mismo tiempo?

EigenFlow

Enjoy the flux around you.
Melt into it if you will.
Yet keep the feel and know of
Your Own Flow.

Absence

Absence exists.

Productivity

Slurring, dripping, sluggish, congealed, indifferent productivity.

xkcd

"How about we get a nice XKCD... thing" (as a proposal to decorate the cube space wall).... :-/
...sad?

Intender

I find the meanings of "querer" and "desear" too lacking in their "intentfulness", and too attached to "desire" to emphasize on their "volition". And "intentar" has too tentative a connotation. Hence, I propose:

Intender: v. El acto de decidir y/o iniciar alguna acción.

• Tiempos simples (Presente/Pasado/Futuro):
• [Yo] intiendo/intendí/intenderé.
• [Tú] intiendes/intendiste/intenderás.
• [Él] intiende/intendió/intenderá.
• [Ella] intiende/intendió/intenderá.
• [Eso] intiende/intendió/intenderá.
• [Usted] intiende/intendió/intenderá.
• [Ellos] intienden/intendieron/intenderán.
• [Ellas] intienden/intendieron/intenderán.
• [Nosotros] intendemos/intendimos/intenderemos.
• [Vosotros] intendéis/intendisteis/intendiréis.
• Pretérito imperfecto (En esos tiempos que...)
• [Yo/Él/Ella/Eso/Usted] intendía.
• [Tú] intendías.
• [Ellos/Ellas] intendían.
• [Nosotros] intendíamos.
• [Vosotros] intendíais.
• Subjuntivo presente (Es posible que...):
• [Yo/Él/Ella/Eso/Usted] intienda.
• [Tú] intiendas.
• [Ellos/Ellas] intiendan.
• [Nosotros] intendiemos.
• [Vosotros] intendiéis.
• Subjuntivo pretérito imperfecto (En el caso que...):
• [Yo/Él/Ella/Eso/Usted] intendiera/intendiese,
• [Tú] intendieras/intendieses,
• [Ellos/Ellas] intendieran/intendiesen,
• [Nosotros] intendiéramos/intendiésemos,
• [Vosotros] intendiérais/intendiéseis,
• Condicional (Entonces...):
• [Yo/Él/Ella/Eso/Usted] intendría.
• [Tú] intendrías.
• [Ellos/Ellas] intendrían.
• [Nosotros] intendríamos.
• [Vosotros] intendríais.
• Subjuntivo futuro (Si mañana...):
• [Yo/Él/Ella/Eso/Usted] intendiere,
• [Tú] intendieres,
• [Ellos/Ellas] intendieren,
• [Nosotros] intendiéremos,
• [Vosotros] intendiéreis,
• Imperativo:
• [Tú] Intiende!
• [Vos] Intendé!
• [Usted] Intienda!
• [Nosotros] Intendamos!
• [Vosotros] Intended!
• [Ustedes] Intiendan!
• Participio:
• Intendido.
• Gerundio:
• Intendiendo.

Chaos

Fickle chaos.

Apathy

I suspect strong discoverers and achievers often underestimate human apathy.

Stray

Thoughts of one next to death,
Power of a windstorm,
Drive of a floating leaf.
A stray hunter who forgot his prey.
Thus I feel.

Idle

Idle hope stagnates.

Distraction

I just realized why I prefer being busy so much. It distracts me from the dark, sad, empty part of me that has been tired with life since long ago.

Wörter

Subtile Meinungsgeister.

Monoism

Truth has no opposite.

Catchy

Alluring rhythms, seductive imagery keep me awake.

Ocaso

Y el constante viento del ocaso elucida mi ser.

Regret 2

Regret not, for it serves naught.

Coexistence

Update:
...though they need not conflict.

Beauty

Beauty is a right of the living, a privilege of the conscious, and a duty to our own happiness. And being beautiful is being our utmost best. And our best is defined, created, discovered even, by each of us. And the fact that we can decide how and when to apply our intentions of beauty is a wonderful and lovely truth.

Dolls

It just dawned on me that I'm only a player in a game of role - surrounded by other players, and, well... just moving ahead and living it up! So much to do, so much color!

We are such funny dolls, walking around like we're so important :)

Ondulates

The sea just ondulates... up and down, up and down. It vibrates calmly, pacedly, like a sinuous, seemingly chaotic 2D function gently waving itself back and forth, back and forth, up and down, up and down. Its crashes on the beach are just its effect at the boundaries. Like DCT. One of Earth's principal vibrations, or signals, it'd seem. What to learn from it?

Mi vida

(Written long ago, c. 2006-2007)

Mi vida - mi regalo, mi jaula, mi mundo.

Gallos en la madrugada

(Aparentemente, escrito el 25 de julio del 2007)

Todos los animales - pájaros, gallos, perros, se levantan y gritan en la madrugada... están felices por la aproximación del nuevo dÌa. Si las personas nos levantáramos con tal ánimo como para gritar junto con los gallos en la madrugada, qué mundo tan diferente sería éste.

Prayer

(Written on March 31, 2011, 19:31)

prayers like affirmations
praise is good because it gives the correct attitude (being enveloped in a world in which one is privileged to be ABLE to praise)

Linear text

(Written in Pittsburgh, c. 2012?)

Extend past linear text

Meat

(Written c. December 12, 2012, 07:30)

If we think of a computer as simply a magical metal box it is maybe the same as considering our bodies as simply a conglomerate of skin, bones, and meat.

Buoyant

(Written on March 24th, 2013)

I grasped at it like the last piece of wood in the sea,
but I had not realized that I was buoyant myself.

Gmail's Fate

(Written years ago, perhaps even before Pittsburgh)

GMail will disappear in 2023.

Pathways

(Written sometime in Pittsburgh, probably in early 2012)

Simultaneous neural pathways.
Of them be aware, and learn to discern and prune.

2^n by hand

(Calculated in high school, typed up in October 22nd, 2006)

325 - 68351585149469122636640694597425667667286544715412888638305245550965111224980497600734786781970432

360 - 2348628482119753227889480596789337027375682548908319870707288020053157231586349883463698998384768903031934976

Woman

(Written c. June 12, 2006)

The body of a woman is so very appealing. What's more appealing? The image of the body itself, the afterthoughts of pleasure it provokes, or the forbidden, taboo tag stamped all over it?

Unobserved

(Written years ago in Pittsburgh)

One cannot learn the unobserved.

Pre-packaged

(Written years ago in Pittsburgh on a piece of paper, but typed until March 9th, 2013)

I reject pre-determined success and failure. Pre-packaged. Stale.

Silent comparison

(Written in Apr 3rd, 2011)

People think they know more than others, or less than others. In the former case, they silence in contempt, in the latter case in shame. Modern conglomerated society.

Fly

fly flow flew

Precioso

es todouna ficcion. mi vida es toda una ficcion. En cada punto pienso y vienen otros pensamientos, distintos, incompatibles con antes. Pero nuevos, y mi ficcion de ahora shines con pasion y voluntad.

Pero es una ficcion. Y reconocerlo me ayuda a ver que
que todo esta bien
que todo lo que hago esta bien. Me merezco actuar con decision y voluntad, y agradezco a mi corazon que me ha dilucidado este secreto precioso.

Bold

Bold. Be bold. Be of bold spirit and strong heart, and pure mind.

(Nov 2013)

Barrel

I'm used to scratching the bottom of the barrel. I enjoy it, and make myself enjoy it, by telling myself I'm part of the minority, and that just filling up the barrel is 1) wasteful, 2) not much of a challenge. And I just think... then what's the big barrel for?

Exotic

The exotic does not always bring excitement,
nor routine boredom.

MeThinks

(Written sometime in Aug/Sep 2013)
Not free while there are still urges in me.
______________________________
At my age, others have already married, had kids, started companies, set on a stable career...
Yes. And I have done neither of these.
So what does that make me?
Me.

Rewarded

(Written sometime in Aug/Sep 2013)
Do I expect to be rewarded because I look at the clouds?

Basics

Perception inherits existence.
Consciousness inherits choice.

(Aug 24, 2013)

Moonlight

Moonlight alone illumines my path
as I venture my way back home
just enough blue pale to make out the trail
but I trust it as I aimless roam.

Virtuous Idyll

Bathe in the waters of Peace, dry with the wind of Freedom, bask in the light of Truth.

Why write?

Why write? Well, I had things to say and no one to say them to, so I made pen, paper, and keyboard my friends.

as if

Act as if you'll never remember it.

[Rediscovered on May 24, 2020)

Best

In this world, there is nothing forever hidden. Everything exists, affects, sprouts, influences, creates, expands. Every single molecule is. Every single person is. And we do our best. What else? If it weren't our best, we wouldn't choose it.
~Oct 16, 2011

Digestion

Food slows thought
Milk dulls the mind
~Jan'12

Codependency

People hang on to others desperately, they communicate with them, seek them out, attempting to find in them some comparison, some approval, some judgement, some reference, because often they are scared to give these to themselves. Or have simply entirely forgotten. Likely both.
So much energy wasted socially. Trying to impress, to stand out, to be noticed.
~Jan'12

Prayer Measurement

Too often do religious-claimed people measure success of their prayer through material effects.
~Jan'12

Proporción

Juicio:Precio::D#:E
Fall 2011 or ~Jan'12

Al pasar

Disfruto la vida al pasar
O quiero disfrutarla y me lo imagino?
O alterno entre ambas?
Ser.

Praise of the Self

Our bodies are such subtle actors
Our minds, unharnessed crafters of the abstract
Our hearts, engines that turn emotions into willpower
And other parts of us, that I don't know to describe, sublime and miraculous, like currents of air throughout it all whose nature is to keep balance between the parts.

Decisions

Is breadth-first search appropriate for real-time decision making?

That lantern in the sky

That lantern in the sky
Kindles the whole of our lives
I delight in its twilight oblique rays that
Produce that colored light show in the sky.

Every day
And every night
At twilight

White

In the lapse of a day or so,
white has outside replaced green.
I knew not that Sky was so keen
on shedding its newly acquired snow.

Spring Birds

Today birds are chatting like excited schoolgirls, in the seeming apex of Spring.

Regularizer

I think often people set too high a coefficient on their financial regularizer term.

(Written sometime in Fall 2012)

Outsourcing

Money is the de facto outsourcing tool.

STD

Statistics rarely makes me think of sex, and then I calculate standard deviations in MATLAB.

Need

Motivation is fueled by need.

The color of time

minutes are blue.
seconds are yellow.
hours are red.

Training tip on Neural Networks

(c. early 2013)

Iteratively put more detail when training:
Represent a low approximation, and train.
Given the best solution there, now approximate the function with a bit more detail, and repeat, starting at the point of the best solution given in the last iteration.

Monkey

I'm the stupid monkey with his hand trapped through the hole, unwilling to unfist the piece of fruit.

Resignation

Time wastes away in ardent frustration, akin to rules of the useless, wondering if following unbelieved rules is worth sacrificing potential passion.
(Written sometime in Fall 2012)

Right

The right to change is perennial.

Multicast

When one addresses a crowd successfully, one is likely attending oneself foremost, as it is probably hard to attend everyone being addressed to. One is speaking one's own truth, and the manner in which the receptors take it is left to the receptors' choice.

Addressing a single person successfully, however, can be made attending either oneself's or the other's needs. Focusing one's entire attention on a person can make them feel listened to, attended, important. This is my experience.

Assumed identities

Too many, so many assumed identities.

Crisp

Ah, the cool crisp of lucidity.

Miss

Sorely missing the Life I've never had...

Strength

Undirected strength is futile

Shy

Shy intentions are no good. They're like slow internet. You might be better off not counting on it at all.

Later

At some point I began to believe that saving the best for later was the better choice.

Contrast

Contrast sharpens sensations.

Passion

The throes of passion are often squandered through expectations.

Tedious

Research is tedious.

Writing in LaTeX is boring, tedious, and requires a great deal of unnecessary work.
Research software is faulty, badly-designed, rarely well-documented if at all, and non-standard.
I despise spending 90% of my time tackling ridiculously intranscendent issues. I hate not finding the time to improve upon such small issues that would make such a great improvement for researchers in general.

I hate the attitude of researchers who have accepted that these tools are the standard way to go about it, and do nothing to improve their situation, and just grunge their way through years and years of tedious-and-worthless effort, interleaved between huge gaps of naturally-induced-procrastination, an amount of sleep almost minimally required to survive and appear healthy, and whatever specks of time remain used on sloppily-focused, bursty grasps at what might turn out to be useful. I hate it.

That is why research, in the version I have observed and experienced it, sucks.

Equivalent

(Written on Nov 6, 2012, 10:24)

Can be expressed in terms of possibilities, or in terms of constraints.

Extremes

Consider extremes while exploring. It is through extremes that we most successfully characterize shapes in the physical world, and we're pretty good at that, if I may say so. If extremes are not considered, everything might seem like just one big blob.

Convex

In any convex differentiable function, the set of points at which the gradient takes on a value M must be convex. If stricly convex, each of these sets is unary.

Busy

The busy one ignores passing beauty.

Unpleasant

Living a life of borrowed goods and pressing goals, always having what is not mine and always owing what I don't have. Unpleasant.

Admiration

Admiration fakely enjoyed leaks out one's throat. A never-ending pattern of accepting the "undeserved". Or the "unwanted"?

Mordor

"My computer is like Mordor"

Apurv

Update:

"There is strange code lurking inside"

Failures

Enjoy your failures.

Simultaneous

Are simultaneous events independent of each other given the actual state of the world? If they are, then we are indeed only members of the world. If they are not, then we are integrated into it.

Corrientes

Corrientes del presente, ascendentes e independientes, rara vez son reincidentes.

Unbridled (Apr 20, 2012 21:09)

Budding minds learn best in unbridled environments.

Camera ratio

The ratio of camera-ready users among my online Google contacts is 31/53. That's more than half. My social context's videocam regular usage has achieved 50%. Rad.

Iterative

We find someone to merge with and reinforce, to jot change endlessly, but to converge into compatible structures that reinforce each other, much like the hubs and authorities of Larry & Sergey's Pagerank algorithm. Support, to have something to act upon, to stop exploring endlessly and morphing over and over. To explore, suffer changes through mutual adjustments, disagreements, iterations,...

to converge upon a structure that supports itself, that iterates upon its two halves to grow and learn in a rooted fashion.

Context Momentum

Term:

A variable related to multi-tasking: the asset of being actively involved in a particular context (conversation, project, or other activity), which often enhances one's effectiveness at this activity. An often-ignored concept regarding one's current involvement. The combination of factors that allow an activity to be considered "on-going", most often preceded by an overhead readying process. A resource found in "active" states, most commonly used to refer to the psychological set of factors that allow a person to do what he is doing as he does.

Diagonals

When I see an object, I often mentally draw lines, most often straight, between non-adjacent vertices of it. A table, a cup, a window, a car, the corners of a dog's head, the borders of a lush tree. The corners of someone's eyes, the nose bridge to the nose tip, the tip to the cheek ridge, the top of the lip to the side, the top of the ear to the bottom, the hair forefront to the back of the head. I imagine this helps me calculate the sizes and internal ratios of objects, although it is exaggerated to conscious proportions. I wonder if I can make it fully unconscious again.

This phenomenon constantly distracts me from whatever I'm doing, and introduces considerable overhead into my thoughts. I first noticed this behavior in high school, and I think I've only now expressed it at all.

Electrical Interference

Did you know that charging my iPhone 3GS disrupts its audio output? It does. Very much.

Desires

Unsatisfied desires leave empty husks behind.

Friends

Friends regulate social anxiety. They provide further evidence beyond one to evaluate oneself.

Competition

Competition too often agglomerates everyone's happiness, and gives it away as the prize. Seems to me like a principal cause of power laws and "rich gets richer" phenomenon.

Definition

Definition requires constraints. Things are also through what they are not.
What then, if you want to be everything? Shed definition.

Thirsty

Forever thirsty because there's a hole in your throat.

Google Shortcuts

Google, please implement convenient keyboard shortcuts for services such as YouTube, Google Play, and your omnipresent Web Search, as you so wisely have for Gmail and Google Docs. And please make these shortcuts consistent across products whenever possible.

Sincerely,
Google User

Midwest

Chicago is not midwest. If anything, it's mideast. Colorado is midwest.

Kunst

Ich will Kunsten.

Normalcy

Too much is sacrificed for normalcy's sake.

Move

µk < µs

Beware

Beware, extended lies may come true.

Bird

The bird is likely cheerier than the ornithologist.

Deserve

All deserve to die.

Genitalia

Well, we all have genitalia.

Quantifiers

Not being able to have everything does not impede one from having something.

Template

I am he that came before me, and also he who is yet to come. One instance of the same template.

Perfect (June 4th, 2012)

Perfect is what is

because there is naught else.

Space and Drive

There is what one can and what one wants. One is the space, the other serves as the drive. But sometimes the want, like horses pulling your carriage, can........... run out of control. An inner, guiding principle, or a destination, can then provide the will and temperance to retake control.

Pride

The way to knowledge is barred by pride.

Welcome

"Welcome", says the clear, distant and blue sky.

Waves

Why waves water?

Momentum.

No words

No words

but heart aches

and tongue shakes with anticipation

of saying what has no words.

Plans cross

paths meet

times shared

dreams shared

joy scattered

in fast memories

and yet long

rich with chance and adventure

A bright gem of experience

belongs not to one but to both

inseparable

inextricable

We fuse in time indelible.

Then time shifts

the fork in the road nears

and joy slopes into longing

the future longing of the bright past

inevitable

Role

We humans are spreaders, consumers, catalysts of change.

Firefly

Thoughts are like a firefly's twinkle.
Some of them are seen.
The rest, no one will know of them.

Peace

A blank mind finds peace.

Here in Tibet

Flies deliberately dance with each other, they interact, stop and observe, and act again, with strong intention.

The sky is brighter and bluer than anywhere else I've seen.

Flowers bloom at over 3.3km of altitude.

People are truthful and forthcoming.

Tsampa has a most amazing consistency.

Ravens have yellow beaks.

One species of bird flies over the flat grasslands, hovers, flaps its wings, and chirps ultra-excitedly and continuously, announcing its excitement to everyone else in the grassland. Seems crazy, and is amazing.

Sunset begins with a white pure light, and paints a beautiful journey of colors and angles with the horizon clouds through creamy white, creamy yellow, denser yellow, light orange, heavy orange, and finally grey.

Cycle

We explore, we converge, and we change.

Relativity

Things are only as in their relation to others.
Water is at the lake as much as sand is in the desert.

Curtains

An action, a single concept, projectable onto many distinct contexts and emotions.

Curtains sway gently.

Scenario 1: A quiet sleeper train, a muffled engine sound in the background, a snore here and there.

Scenario 2: An unmoving sleeper train, more dimly lit, and not a sound around, only the silent, unwarranted waving of the curtains.

Scenario 3: An unmoving sleeper train, more dimly lit, and not a sound around, only the silent, unwarranted waving of the curtains. You know that behind the closest curtain waits for you a lovely traveler you just met, brushing her soft legs together in anticipation of the meeting of your skins.

No one knows what you know. Be free to inform others.

Eagle

Brave eagle

Glides through a vast ocean

So many places to fly

but is brave to choose only one.

Raw

Raw wild energy is not to be repressed, but guided.

Oak

Under a seeing-eye mighty oak*,

a refuge from rain I sought

a great umbrella of purplish hues

generous with protection

How to fly

Not all birds fly with the same technique, or wingspan.

Neutered

Neutered for so long

forgotten how to effect

pawing, stumbling, grabbing

at whatever helps me remember.

Substitute

Sex is a cheap substitute in a world scarce of affection. One craves the latter, only finds the former, and accepts it as the medication. Much like appeasing hunger with sugar.

Novelty

New experiences induce focus.

‰

Tender

New life is tender.

Soy

Hijo de mi Fortuna
Pionero de mi Destino
Amo de la Primordial Decisión

Soon Grade

asap < as soon as possible < very soon < soon < in a sec < in a lil while < in a while < later < ... sometime later < I dunno.

Guilt

Shared guilt is so much easier to bear.

Spring, Bloom

Blooming snow
Pastel dawn
Sprinkling sky
Shedding flowers
Petal blanket
Lilac trees
Sweetest pink
Fresh new green
Lovely scene

Friday

An illusion of conclusion.

Insólito

"Insólito" es una palabra sólita relativa a "Sólito", que es insólita.

http://etimologias.dechile.net/?inso.lito

Antónimos mutuamente descriptivos.

Expectation

Too often expectation overrides experience.

Polarization

Hexa-coincidental source of energy.

Spring, Birth

Snow precedes a clear sky.

The clear sky invites the sun.

The sun gifts us warmth.

Warmth brews rain and thunder.

Thunder beckons to green and to song.

New green is so bright.

Spring song, a soothing melody of Life.

Quick piece

CFAFA………

CFAFA..B…

Blooms

Red blooms.

Socks

I don't think I've ever bought socks.

Initial learning

With limited training data, a more constrained model tends to perform better.

Manning, et al. An Introduction to Information Retrieval. April 1, 2009. Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, England. p. 241

Magnets

We are selective magnets.
Our Focus directs our Force.

Memory

Memory is the momentum of the mind.
Lose your momentum.

Fluids

Powerful fluids

Actions

Feel your actions.

Translation

Clouds translate over transparent trees.

Attempt

No attempt, no success.

Altruist

If I think it is altruist,

I've probably never done it.

Quick Love (Sept 2010)

Slippery heart,
paraffin kisses

Near Hit

I just realized I will never have a birthday when my age is the same as the calendar date.
For example, someone born on April 16th should turn 16 years old on April 16th. But that won't ever happen to me.

Ill-defined

Highly ambiguous superlative claims amuse me.

Indescribable

"Indescribable" is an inapplicable adjective.
"Inapplicable" is not.

Literally

"Literally"'s meaning is etymologically unsound. It is just like saying "letteredly".
I letteredly woke up at 3PM yesterday.

Structure

Societal structure harnesses the population's energy.

Have its goal be worthy, or dispose of it.

Pink

Pink horizon, sloping cloud.

Laundry

If you defer your acts to your auto-mode while doing laundry, you might also do so while walking on the street, dining, and talking to your friend, lover, or spouse.

Science

A methodology and knowledge platform through which so many now feel obliged to justify their beliefs through.

Religion:
Another such social standard.

Reference

And people keep looking at others for their reference...
Try the alternative.

You are transient

Enjoy your ephemerality.

Choice

Everything you do is your choice.

Gentle

Lead yourself with gentle tension.

Rhythm

Do you know the rhythm of your life?
Do you feel the rhythm of your life?
Live to it.

Lost

Be, for all is here.
Be, for all will be lost.

Soltiduminous

How soltiduminous.

Realize

realize the shape of things. the nature of things. we ignore the details because we abstract everything. a guy walking with a hoodie on, oh yeah. A blonde girl with slightly chubby legs. But details are not realized anymore. And they are so plentiful.

Realize her head, her hair, her two legs, how she swings them alternatingly, an erect animal covered in colorful fabric, seemingly absorbed in her own thoughts and actions, the want to reach her destination so much stronger than her attention on her own movement, when it is wonderful itself.

We are wonderful conscious automata, deciders of Fate, the hinges of possibilities. We Do, We Are. At each ephemeral, infinitesimal moment, we change our world and ourselves to our whim, desire, and choice. Out of infinite possibilities, we choose, time and time again, as long as we live. And yet so many of us ignore this, by choice, by habit, by imitation. Isn't all of this a wonder? What subtle grandeur, what silent constant explosion of possibilities!

Realize the Now.

Favorite

Apparently, "favorite" is superlative as an adjective, but merely descriptive as a noun. Definitions below:

fa·vor·ite/ˈfāv(ə)rit/

Adjective:	Preferred before all others of the same kind.
Noun:	A person or thing that is especially well liked.

Source: http://www.google.com/search?q=define:+favorite&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari

Southern Sun

Southern Sun today.

Overeating

Overeating exhausts.

Sky

Sky blue sky

Optimization

Yes, it's good to know how to optimize, but don't feel obliged to.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you must.

Do what you want.

Also,

"Premature Optimization is the Root of all Evil" -- Donald Knuth

Breathe

Sucking and blowing.

Cities

Neat piles of stone and wood.

Giant sandbox

Written on Oct 20th, 2011


Life is so immensely broad, and we can do whatever we want. We have a giant sandbox at our disposal, and whatever we want to do is fine. Because we can. Simple as that.

That's why indecision can hinder your progress so much. You try to make the "correct" choice, but more often than not there is no real "correct choice". Your choice is the correct choice, and all the energy spent worrying and hesitating is wasted. It's all natural, of course. Everything is natural. But it makes one wonder what one can accomplish if one were to trust oneself fully, unconditionally, genuinely, regretlessly, and joyfully.

Learning

Learning requires mistakes.
Update:
Learning requires effort.

Invention

Invention is scarce in a prepackaged society.

Way To Be

Be Decisively. Deliberately.

Syntactic

Ignoring semantics, is "It is not true." the correct logical negation for "It is true."? I think it is not. Which is different from "I don't think it is".

Leaf virtue

By virtue of their softness, lightness, and amenability to change, leaves are gently swayed to the ground when it's their time to fall. I think we can learn from that.

Leaves

fairies of autumn

angels of fall

playful sprites

magical floating colors

gentle swayees of randomness

serene samplers of the unknown

they trust. they rise and fall

as the world tells them to

in joy

Ripple

When the wind speaks through the autumn trees, its words ripple of shine and color. Loveliness.

Sound quantization

Sounds. They're everywhere. At least everywhere I've been.

Attempt to map sounds to numbers bijectively. Given a finite sampling rate, it's possible, right? So I wonder... how to map it?

The individual, "purer" sounds would be integers. Countable, even if infinite. Clinks, steps, single instrument notes. Those sound like integers to me.

Then music pieces... sequences of integers... often cut into parts, mixed and matched, harmonized together... likened to rationals? Maybe?

But sounds in nature never stop. They go on forever. The wind through a tree's branches, a river stream. Like... irrationals. Pi and e should be out there somewhere.

Just a conceptual whim.

Fluid

Always traversing the invisible fluid.

Life Expectancy

The expectancy of Life is to rarely meet expectations.

Sohail's Presentation

Sohail's presentation was like watching a faucet let out water constantly, miserly, drop by drop, **with little change, not so interesting.**

Or like an ant building a statue, ***, focusing on only one piece at a time - now the foot, now the hand,

***UNFINISHED BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL TEXT WAS WRITTEN WITH A DULL PENCIL ON A BROWN NAPKIN THAT I LATER CRUMBLED IN MY POCKET AND I COULDN'T DECIPHER AFTERWARDS***

The Fire of Trees

The Fire of Trees, so graceful, so colorful, so lovely.

Regret

That which can fuel motivation is too often used to stir regret.

Inertia

Intention battles inertia. That is its very nature.

Choices

There is no good and bad. There are only choices.

Delicate power

I have been listening to Fabrizio Paterlini's piano compositions for over a week now, and I am infatuated with them. They are amazing. I'm listening to this one now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXyisLlJuCE

but if you like that one, you should SO do a deep search of all his music. And buy it from his site. And tell him how great it is. Because it's GREAT. I just did. I told him his music was so "delicately powerful". I liked this description. In fact, I liked it so much, that I wrote a blog post about it. Voilà.

Ephemeral

Considering our own ephemerality. Life begins, then it ends. What make us different from the housefly? From the flower? The running piece of code? The conversation? The raindrop? The sporadic gust of wind? The heartbeat?

Strings

We people, our feelings, are like strings. Outside forces pluck us one way or the other, but regardless of what direction we are plucked towards, we'll oscillate a bit and eventually find a way to reestabilize.

Good for you, Andrea :)

Intention

Intention is the key. If you rely on chance to accomplish your tasks, they might be fulfilled, but you will have learned nothing.

Generalization

You know all of those phrases on facebook that are either puns or ironic plays on meaning to make you think about something? I can think of ways of describing these:

Paradoxical tautology

Oxymoronic truth

Ironic fact

I don't know. Something like that.

I gotta go take a cool shower. Bye.

Different

Things that are today may not be tomorrow. Even if they remain the same. Squeeze the potential off from your Now.

Intolerant

I just got a $45 parking ticket for leaving a rental car parked this morning in a residential area. It wasn't that long, come on. Fucking intolerant bastards.

Rebel

I am the gentle rebel.

The polite rebel.

The silent rebel.

Who jaywalks.

Who won't put on his seatbelt.
Who stares into your eyes only slightly more than you expect.

Semi-used clothing storage

Where do you store clothes that you used during the day but you still want to use tomorrow? Like those jeans you really like, or that shirt you used only for a few hours. I've been using the carpet, and sometimes the chair, but I wondered if anyone had found a neater or more standard place to store multi-day clothing. It would be especially useful for when you change your mind your next day and decide to put on clean clothes, but then you might accumulate two sets of lightly used clothes that you might want to use again. You don't want to fold them and put them back with the clean piles, and it's becoming a little pile on its own. What to do? What to do...

Property

Property motivates hoarding, which motivates selfishness, which motivates greed, which motivates a race to accumulate the most. Why? Have your stuff, but fucking share.

Conclusions

Both conclusions and decisions are essentially yours.

Current

Like a drop of water flowing down the river, a lone person yields to the massive currents around him, and flows along with them. But then, would you rather see yourself as a helpless slave of the current, or as part of the force that creates the current, at every moment?

Further Miscellany

Alcohol injects randomness into our lives. That's how it manages to get out of our routinary lives, out of our comfort zone, and makes us try out new things, because situations suddenly begin to be different from the ones we're used to. Also, our senses are not as keen as usually. So we gotta act in whatever way we can.

Sept 21, 2011 08:09 PM

I don't want to be me any more. I want to be what I want. I WANT TO CHANGE

Sept 19, 2011 05:30 PM

Impossible to escape from consciousness

Sept 28, 2011 01:02 PM

viviendo una vida llenando expectativas

cumpliendo las metas que otros me trazan

me esperan, me admiran, por ser tan capaz

y yo que les creo, escondo mis deseos

olvido mis gustos, y mi exaltación

cortando paciente a mi corazón

los pedazos que no caben en el pinche modelo

que ya solo existe en mi jodida cabeza

que no entiende que no es lo que no es, sino lo que es.

que no vale lo que falta, sino lo que hay.

fuck you you told me i was good at math

and i fucking idiot believed you in faith

kept at it and sucked at it but kept at it more

disliking, mistasting, but knowing not what else to do

Sept 21, 2011 08:12 PM

Money weakens. It allows you to not be independent, to detach from your own needs. Over-interdependency. That's what it causes.

Sept 27, 2011 07:32 PM

Clean

What do you fuck do you gain with a clean record? A clean computer desktop, an organized room, a shiny coffee table? Self satisfaction. Indulgence of vanity or of knowing that you are clean and organized. What do you fuck do you get with that? What do you learn? Nothing, it is something you've already done. You don't learn by doing what you've done. Go fucking do something else.

Miscellany on Self

Sometimes I think my ideal of the person I want to be is unattainable, given my current state. I now also understand that that is fine. What I'm missing now is the belief. Knowledge does not imply belief. And it is upon belief that our feelings and our instinct operate.

Sept 16, 00:01

I DO NOT WANT HALF BAKED LOVE

Sept 17, 16:33, on Craig St, near Lulu's and Ali Baba

rumiante de half baked ideas.

las palabras lentas en la mente

se estancan, seguras de no llegar

acostumbradas a siempre llegar tarde

Sept 18, 22:38

fleeting arrows of words and image

that vanish before i understand them

Sept 19, 16:17

El mundo no es lo que pensamos

y si lo fuera, que jodido el mundo

que otorga su esencia a los confundidos

El futuro no sera lo que pensamos

y si lo fuera, que jodido el mundo

sin sorpresas que ofrecer

Sept 20, 13:11

he vivido lo cotidiano hasta lo harto

quiero ahora saber mas

sin temer lo desconocido

solo por ser diferente

cansado de lo comun

busco con ansia buscar mas alla

de lo que mis ojos han visto

mi piel ha sentido

mis labios han besado

busco querer encontrar

con toda mi esencia

alejarme de la apropiacion

matar su perpetuidad

Sept 20, 13:46

quiero expropiarme de mi mismo

todo lo que me he puesto encima

colores y deseos que no han sido mios

y que asfixian constantes la luz

atrapada

un canvas que otros han pintado

es obra de otros, el canvas es nada

solo un muñeco que lleva a cabo

el programa que otros te han dejado

desde la eternidad

y ya han olvidado

un mono se entrena, aprende los trucos

quiere ser bueno, quiere mostrarlos

y no encuentra a nadie que le importe

quien quiera saber de sus estupidos trucos

pues el truco era distraccion

que se ha convertido en vida

y el resto, en sueño olvidado

Sept 20, 14:04

la gente

se retrae de hacer y de hablar

por el miedo de contrariar

pero uno no esta hecho para complacer

y para temer ofender.

Sino que para ser, expresas, y cuando

se sienta, a respetar.

Pero se confunde el respeto con temor

Sept 20, 12:11

want to do what i haven't done

feel what i haven't felt

taste what i haven't tasted

love tempestuously

be what i don't know i am

but feel.....

Sept 21, 22:19

others' words were my criteria

my spirit hidden behind a curtain of

"the right"

Sept 22, 23:46

xq fucks la gente solo hace lo que le han

dicho que es su especializacion?

ingeniero, pintor, albañil, y no se

intenta lo demas??? solo se HACE

porque se hace

Sept 23, 01:15

Barriers built by us

for us

so many

we end up living a life

skirting them

living by their limitations

and not by our drive

Sept 23, 12:35

I've been a leaf floating in the wind

ambivalent to direction

now I want to be the wind

with my own drive, purpose, and life.

Sept 24, 17:44

i used to see life as a function to

optimize measures on: efficiency,

wealth, frugality, glory, food, with

mathematics as my lawyer, my

middleman. i now leave that ground

Sept 24, 18:20

have your own course of action. A

tempting, softer alternative is to

choose from options provided, available

at the moment. Do not let yourself

yield to the latter. It causes your

volition to languish and decay.

Sept 25, 14:09

Bottled up experience is not the experience at all.

Sept 25, 19:11, Flagstaff

Lo efímero es lo bello. Lo real, lo presente, lo único.

Sept 25, 19:23, Flagstaff

A lack of problems causes a lack of

need. And it is need which fuels

motivation. No wonder why people feel

unmotivated so often. Or why they

create needs, often frivolous, to stay

energized. I took the former approach.

Sept 27, 20:52

Orange moon

Orange moon, you came up soon,
they say you're made of cheese.
Only now do I see why,
brighter than Betelguese.

Projection

A large part of a person's growth consists in extending one's own representational space to understand more varied and more complex objects, concepts, and people. For what is observed is no more than what the senses can perceive, and no more than what the mind can represent...
What we understand is the world's projection onto the senses and mind.

Written Sept 12, 00:42, Fifth & Craig, SW corner.

Money

Money weakens. It allows you to not be independent, to detach from your own needs. In excess, it causes over-interdependency. It is a drug.

Marriage

marriage

a vile approximation

to a grandiose encounter

of fate and of canter

of two concurrent souls

in this ever changing world

Alcohol

Alcohol injects randomness into our lives. That's how it manages to get out of our routinely lives, out of our comfort zone, and makes us try out new things, because situations suddenly begin to be different from the ones we're used to. Also, our senses are not as keen as usually. So we gotta act in whatever way we can.

NORMAL

The world is toooooo fucking NORMAL sometimes. Predictable, routinely, comfortable, stable. That's why unusual people are NEEDED. And that's why they sometimes work HARD to inject fucking randomness into this stagnant pool of human sludge. Optimizers know what I'm talking about... too stable a search leads to local fucking optimums.

Aún nos quedan cosas por hacer.

Unconfidence intervals

This happens much more often than I would expect it to. I hypothesize the current measurement and the interval predictions are obtained from different weather services. If it is not so, shame on your predictions' accuracies.

Pep Verse

But my friend, despair not

Hope you haven't forgot

that solutions are not always obvious.

So pack up your might,

and remember, the fight

helps success become all the more glorious

Seven

The moon glows in full circle
looks down on traffic down below
A bird platoon sweeps the horizon
gifting me a morning show

Meanwhile I stare at the street
in anxious contemplation
the bus ain't here and my mind is clear
so I fake some inspiration

The bus is come, so now I wait
inside the warmer bus
My therapy thing begins in seven
so getting fast there would be a plus

And now I'm here, and it's quite clear
that the front door is locked
So much for being here on time
I hope Chris han't forgot

So it turned out that Chris was in,
and I just had to buzz him.
He pushed and squeezed muscles and skin,
so no knots would be blocking.

And now I'm almost back at home,
and I kinda need to pee.
Good thing I've still a lot of time
cause my classes start at three.

Culinaristic

Wow. Am I really doing this?? My mom would be so proud.

UPDATE: No, the Oreos were not part of the meal. Plus, steamed onions are deliciously tender and tenderly delicious.

Small fall

The small ones also partake in the Fall.

Pretty color bars

Patience

Waiting for patience

Mapping Wills

Those who seek to live find themselves honored, or recognized.

Those who seek to be forgotten find themselves living.

Those who seek honor and recognition find themselves forgotten.

And it doesn't work to change what one "wants" to obtain one's true desires, for the will is not an independent variable, as much as we might define it so in a mathematical construct.

Sex

Sex should be a verb.
I sex. You sex. Good sexing there. Where you've been? I've been sexing all weekend. It's not that hard, right?

Burn

Fire burns. Wood burns.
But homonymously differently.

Conformist disease

People are scared to be amazed these days. They're afraid to show amazement at something, let the people around notice, and realize that what to him is a wonder, is to another a bore, not worth noticing, or that he could explain the wonder so obviously, or so condescendingly as to imply one's wonder as tedious, irksome, and to be considered ignorant or naive. A common fear today. A disease.

Wonder is looked down upon, while knowledge is revered. But they need not be mutually exclusive. The former stimulates the latter, and it is only too common for people to acquire some knowledge and then to stop wondering, satisfied that what they know is enough for their lives, and everything else is, as far as they are concerned, superfluous. They close their minds to wonder to be like others, to avoid the risk of condescension by others. To conform. Ugh.

Dances with Wolves

In a place where names have no meaning. We people are standard entities with a silly identifier, no better than a plain integer, that means nothing except what you tie to it yourself. There is no express name that allows us to identify or describe ourselves. Dances with Wolves feels so much better.

Lamentation

The lamentation of ultra-specialized society is meaninglessness. That of one that mandates its individuals is disinterest. And though individuals are able to find meaning in the lamest of causes, the frivolity of these allows knowing and selfish people to mold these sources of interest in order to sway the masses.

Highland Park

is pretty darn awesome.

Fireflies

fireflies glow because that's what they are. they can, so they do. instant spark of mystic green light, the brightest green.

Clown Frown

A term for an exaggerated frown, like clowns do.

Letter removal

I just remembered that when I was a kid, I realized that removing the "i" in my diminutive nickname, "Tonito", resulted in "Tonto". I think I told my cousin and he made nothing out of it, and I was too ashamed to tell anyone else.

Stowaway fly

A fly flew into my flight airplane today, going from Chicago to Pittsburgh. Such a smart fly - it got a free trip, and it might get a chance to spread its genes much further.

Tattoos in Chicago

are abundant.